The Real Deal: #FuckYeahIMasturbate: 9 Things That Cross My Mind Whilst in The Throes

It’s already fading, the memories are fading, I knew I should have written this WHILE I was coming all over the place, goddamnit!

(after the first orgasm):

9. NOW I can clean! Write! Whatever! Anything!

(after a few more):

8. OhhhBlessedBeBlessedBeBlessedBEEEEEE

7. I can’t remember how many times I’ve come, FUCK

6. Sweat. I need a shower

5. Oh Sweet Release

4. NOBODY can masturbate like a SPINSTA can!

(“some” time later):

3. Oh dear god not AGAIN *various whimpers, moans, muffled screams*

body arches up, head slams back into pillow

more muffled shrieks

head.pillow.again.

again.again.again.

2. I”m a thoroughbred out to pasture, what a waste

1. somehow this is connected to riding the broomstick i swear to god this is my orgasmic insight

-1. you don’t even want to know what porn I’m watchingnotwatchingmissing, it’s … interesting.

-2. oh goddd i’m alive, i’m alive, i’m NOT dead, I’m alive and I’m going to take the world!

-3. Oh god i’m going to diiiiiiie commmming!!!!!!!!!!!!!

headSLAM.SLAM.SLAM.pillow.

he didn’t break me.

 

 

-4. dearie me. I must get dressed

-5. I think this is more than 9. What can i say. i’m prolific.

-6. THAT’S where my sense of humor went!

-7. It’s Wednesday but it FEELS like a FRIDAY!

God i really need to do this like EVERY day.

***

and on a related note:

9 Common Sex Injuries and How to Deal

by Annie Daly

 

***

Ladies, Gents, anything to add? Feel Free:

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The Hygge Wishlist: Ten Things to Make Your Home More Hyggelig #MeikWiking

Bringing the outdoors IN … maybe I’m danish!

Poems for Warriors

Hyggekrog

  1. Hyggekrog – a nook, a place to snuggle up with a blanket, a book and a warm cup of tea. This may be a bay window with a cushion and blanket with soft, natural lighting, a place a safety to overlook what may be going on outside.
  2. A Fireplace – a place to sit alone to resting and experiencing the ultimate feelings of coziness and warmth.
  3. Candles – a hallmark of all things hygge.
  4. Things Made Out of Wood
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  6. Books – taking a break to read a big, thick book is a key concept of hygge. The genre does not matter.
  7. Ceramics – a…

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